For one, perhaps that is just the way they are. Two, you might just be staring at a mirror.
Before I explain, let me read through this essential Bible passage:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.~ Ephesians 6:1-4
As we read through the passage above, we have the foundations for building a happy family. There are many parenting sites these days. We, too, manage one, i-Ville.com; however, all those parenting tips are merely skill sets if not rooted in this Bible passage’s teachings.
It is not just the children’s responsibility to obey parents; parents, especially fathers who are the family’s protectors, should not provoke their children to anger.
In a family, children have an obligation to their parents; parents are responsible for their children. In the same way, both parents and children have a commitment to God as God has for both parents and children, who are all God’s children.
I am a father of 6 children. Each of them is a reflection of my wife and me as they are unique on their own.
What do I mean by this?
I usually look at myself on how I would like to be treated and approached on that particular circumstance. From there, most of the time, I get some positive feedback from my children.
It is important to shower our children with love to grow in love and learn to receive and give love. It is likewise vital to pour them with our time to do the same to their children and grandchildren.
Parents who spent quality time with their children would likely have their children and grandchildren spending time with them.
Love them; do not spoil them.
The easy way of loving our children is to spoil them. It does not require a lot of friction; it does not require discipline. Spoiling is the easy way of loving. Yet is it really because we love them? Or do we see our childhood in them? Is spoiling them preparing them for tomorrow? Or does it fill up the gap of your yesterdays?
Love them; do not spoil them.
What draws the line? Discipline.
I love my children with all my heart.
With my love comes my time, listening ear, earthly duty as a provider, emotional care for them, respect to them, and my responsibility to discipline them.
With discipline comes my love, respect, and guidance — not my will enforced on them.
The respect we give to our children makes parenting or disciplining easier.
As we sow love and respect for each family member, we harvest love and respect in the entire family.
With respect, we can gain our children’s trust. Respect and trust have to be earned by the parents starting at birth, not the other way around.
We are stewards entrusted with particular tasks in building God’s kingdom.
As a father, I believe that my first and foremost duty is to introduce my children to our God, YHWH. That is to give them the environment to know Him better through the scriptures. I always see myself as a mere steward for my children, yet very privileged to have them. Given this particular task of fatherhood by the Supreme King, YHWH, I have to prepare my children as they would with their children in the coming of God’s Kingdom.
Thus the prayer, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
Now, do you still care if your children disobey you?
Children are simply like you and me. We are all children in this earthly plain trying to find our way.
We have our own free will. We have our own minds and hearts.
With trust, respect, and most of all love — we only try our best to guide our children.
We can only hope that they can make use of their hearts to give and receive love.
We can only wish that they can use their minds to improve theirs and other peoples’ lives.
With free will, we can only pray for responsible freedom.
Before I end, it is not my intention to explain why children disobey parents.
Life is so complex by itself, much so is relationship.
I am merely sharing my experience as a father of 6 children. I am very fulfilled and blessed to have been entrusted with fatherhood.
I bear this pride and honor, perhaps more than those entrusted with knighthood a long time ago.